Posts
Kylie Jenner Lipkits
I know I previously said that I would not lay my hands on these items. I in fact previously googled my butt off for dupes where they are of a different brand but really similar shades such as Anastasia Beverly Hills, Stila, Nyx and so on. I got the dupes instead but I could no longer bear it!!!
When Kylie dropped her Birthday collection which was the Kylie Jenner Birthday Bundle in August in honor of it being her birthday month, I really couldn't resist. It even comes with the makeup bag! Might I add, the makeup for this is infused with real gold. There was even eyeshadows, eyeliner, and lipsticks and lipglosses of course.
I ended up resisting and finally gave in to temptation and purchased the bundle during the very last restock. Thank God, I was successful. These are what we can find in the bundle.
The Limited Edition Birthday Collection | The Bundle
1 Lord Metal Lipstick
1 Poppin’ Gloss
1 Leo Matte Liquid Lipstick and 1 Leo Pencil Lip Liner
1 Mini Matte Liquid Lipstick kit containing the following shades: Exposed (warm mid-tone beige), Dolce K (deep beige nude), Koko K (pale pink), Candy K (warm pinky nude), Kristen (warm brown berry) and Leo (true deep burgundy)
1 Rose Gold Crème Gel Shadow
1 Copper Crème Gel Shadow
1 Dark Bronze KYLINER kit containing 1 Crème Gel eyeliner 1 Pencil Eye Liner and 1 full sized synthetic small angled brush
1 makeup bag
A while later she released 3 new shades which were, Dirty Peach, Brown Sugar and Love Bite. I told myself NO! I just bought a whole bundle, I can be patient for the dupes to be out and I can get them. Then the dupes were out and this time around, I was not too pleased and hence decided to give it yet another round and I ended up purchasing Brown Sugar and Love Bite.
Honestly, by far, I LOVE the poster and campaign for this 3 shades the most as Kylie used gils of different skin colors and even showcased how the lipsticks will appear on those skin. It was just too beautiful and I definitely am inspired to do such a photoshoot at least once in my life.
As of now, these are the shades that I own:
Candy K
Posie K
Koko K
Dolce K
Mary Jo K
True brown
Kourt k
22
Posie K
Koko K
Dolce K
Mary Jo K
True brown
Kourt k
22
Exposed
Kristen
Ginger
Leo
Love bite
Brown sugar
The ones that I think are still nice but I just don't want to purchase them as I don't think the colors would go well on me or I find them too to shades that I already own would be:
Glosses:
Like
Literally
So cute
Metals:
Reign
Heir
King K
KyMajesty
Lipsticks:
Skylie
Freedom
Dead of knight
Maliboo
Dirty peach
I already have 14 lipsticks and deep down I am supposed to feel an ounce of regret... but!!! I don't! hehehe
Honestly, I am someone who spends not a lot of money on myself and for myself. There are times I decide to splurge be it something like clothes or gadgets. It can cost a fortune but because I so rarely do it, when I treat myself, it's honestly nice. I feel all special and I appreciate the items a lot more especially if I've worked my butt off to save up for it and finally purchase them, I value and appreciate it a whole lot more. That kinda things and gifts from the heart are things you just keepsake. :')
I have no idea if I'll be getting more Kylie items, I actually might, we'll see about that in the new future. I can safely and most definitely, happily say that Kylie Cosmetics is one of my fav cosmetics brand.
P.S they weren't lying when they said that the lipsticks smelled of vanilla.
Kristen
Ginger
Leo
Love bite
Brown sugar
The ones that I think are still nice but I just don't want to purchase them as I don't think the colors would go well on me or I find them too to shades that I already own would be:
Glosses:
Like
Literally
So cute
Metals:
Reign
Heir
King K
KyMajesty
Lipsticks:
Skylie
Freedom
Dead of knight
Maliboo
Dirty peach
I already have 14 lipsticks and deep down I am supposed to feel an ounce of regret... but!!! I don't! hehehe
Honestly, I am someone who spends not a lot of money on myself and for myself. There are times I decide to splurge be it something like clothes or gadgets. It can cost a fortune but because I so rarely do it, when I treat myself, it's honestly nice. I feel all special and I appreciate the items a lot more especially if I've worked my butt off to save up for it and finally purchase them, I value and appreciate it a whole lot more. That kinda things and gifts from the heart are things you just keepsake. :')
I have no idea if I'll be getting more Kylie items, I actually might, we'll see about that in the new future. I can safely and most definitely, happily say that Kylie Cosmetics is one of my fav cosmetics brand.
P.S they weren't lying when they said that the lipsticks smelled of vanilla.
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Snapchat
I guess Snapchat is always appearing on segments of my blog. Well, I can't help it. I think they're pretty funny, cool and fun! These are my Top 3 fav!
The Lil Bratz filter
Snapchat
I guess Snapchat is always appearing on segments of my blog. Well, I can't help it. I think they're pretty funny, cool and fun! These are my Top 3 fav!
The Lil Bratz filter
The Iconic Flower Crown
The Golden Butterflies
There is one new filter where it gives you this cool blue mask.
Snapchat really gives really nice filters with the MOST amazing lipstick colors
Mustafa Mischief
And here's a list of snapchat videos on the night I went to Mustafa with my family. I'll let the videos do most of the talking and keep the description, short and sweet.
My family promised me it'll just be dinner at Bugis... then BAM Mustafa kicked in.
Well, I might as well have fun!
Loots! Yup, that's the Arizona Tea can.
New Vanilla Protein Shake
Everyone just MUST try this. It's lil vanilla beads in a straw. Makes milk taste WONDERFUL!
While my older sister is shopping for rings, The Rat & Lil Rat messes about!
Songs from the Toy Bear
A magic set is way cooler when it's pink than when it's just the normal color.
Raihan's magic trick!
Jenga. I MUST play this game one day when I'm tipsy
Mogu Mogu is too good to be true!
Why buy just 1 small Pepero when you can get a giant box?!
You know, other than Snapchat, I've been really getting in touch with Rap Music. I guess, I always did love rap music and since I'm not much of a singer, I've always enjoyed rapping. I'm addicted to these few songs lately (Not all are raps, some ate RnB or Pop).
1. Forever - Drake, Kanye, Lil Wayne, Eminem
2. Jewish Flow - Lil Dicky
3. A Milli - Lil Wayne
4. 6 Foot 7 Foot - Lil Wayne
5. Bed Rock - Young Money
6. Till I Collapse - Eminem
7. Dance Ass - Big Sean ft Nicki Minaj
8. Look At Me Now - Chris Brown, Lil Wayne, Busta Rhymes
9. Sucker for Pain - Lil Wayne, Wiz Khalifa & Imagine Dragons w/ Logic & Ty Dolla $ign ft X Ambassadors
10. Lose Yourself - Eminem
11. Want You - Llyod Ft Lil Wayne
12. Baby By Me - 50 Cent Ft Ne-yo
13. Closer - The Chainsmokers Ft Halsey
14. Hey Daddy - Usher
15. Lay It Down - Llyod
16. Get It Shawty - Llyod
17. Do It Again - Pia Mia Ft Chris Brown & Tyga
18. Side To Side - Ariana Grande Ft Nicki Minaj
19. With You - Chris Brown
20. Body On Me - Rita Ora Ft Chris Brown
Some are pretty new and some are pretty classic!
Other than rap music, I love RnB and there's honestly only 6 men in this world who can make me so wet and literally just have an orgasm by hearing them sing.
Chris Brown, Ne-Yo, Trey Songz, Llyod, Usher & Mario.
So if you're into soothing sexy songs, listen to them. Think about it. I'm not a girl who's a fan of woman addressing their man as "Daddy" but my favorite song of all time has to be "Hey Daddy" by Usher where he actually tells his girl to call him "Daddy". Well, I guess if you're Usher, it's fine cuz man he's hella fine! And I can call him anything he wants me to call him. hehehe
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Fariz's Birthday
So yet another lad from The NiggAPACHE turned 20. This guy here is really one of the most lovable people that has ever set foot on this big blue and green blob we call Earth. This year we decided to take it easy and in fact not really do much for anybody's birthday. Let's just say that unexpected circumstances led to Fariz and I meeting the day before his birthday and yes people, it was a Monday. It was just tonnes of talking and chilling and we reached home at only 2.30am or so and that means I wasn't gonna go to work the next day.
I guess with all that talking, we were both having the mood to just let loose and forget stuff and just have fun and appreciate what we have. We met up and took over Clark Quay later on that day. I have hung out with the guys as a group before and even individually, but it has been so long that I did something like this with one of them.
Before that, at Admiralty was where the birthday boy was presented his gifts.
The first being a scrapbook. Fariz can draw really well and it's time he put some photos together or in fact draw more on that woody paper that the scarpbook has. Who knew that guy already has a Sharpie hahaha!
The second gift would be a Skull bandana. It could be used as a bandana or as a skull mask. Fariz may be a Brony, but he's a huge skull fan.
The last... remember how I said Fariz is into drawing? Well, this gift is to add some color to them! He draws AMAZINGLY especially his really cool Max & Amy. This time, all them coloring tools is found in this wooden briefcase which I thought was pretty cool and it's those times, when you see an item and you go "THIS IS THE ONE THAT I KNOW FARIZ WILL LIKE!" and BAM you get it for their birthday.
We met up, got some.... really good tasting and ultra smooth Vodka and went around Clark Quay exploring and drinking straight from the bottle. Sadly, we didn't enter any bars but we sure as hell did see good ones. Also, we now know where The NiggAPACHE can go to get some REALLY GOOD PIZZA!
Snapchat moments, or even walking through an underground pass with cool graffiti drawings on the wall and lemme tell you the most interesting emotional background music was played that it had to be recorded as a video!
It was nice to just chill on the steps of Clark Quay / Boat Quay (God! We still can't tell the difference) and talk and we had a friend, Lee Kwan Yew, the pigeon. You know what happens when you get a lil tipsy...well it can vary for people. It wasn't fair! That guy drank 3/4 of our pretty little drink from Scotland yet I was the one who was tipsy and unable to even walk straight. HAHAHA hey at least it was fun wandering the streets at night and just talking and letting out some steam.
This is the first time in the history of The NiggAPACHE that I was with someone on midnight on their birthdays. That's pretty rad! Achievement Unlocked! Once again, happy birthday to truly one of the greatest guys I've ever known! Love ya to the Luna & back!
On Friday, it was time for the "cake" cutting with the guys. For Fariz, I got him a waffle. Haha, well that is his simple "cake" for turning 20. It was pretty cute to see the guys sing their own rendition of a Happy Birthday song!
Fariz was nasty blowing the candles out with his nose. Well, boys will be boys!
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STGCC
The annual Singapore Toy Game and Comic Convention, otherwise more commonly known as STGCC took place this year on the 10th and 11th of September. It is really a fascinating sight as you'll be seeing a WHOLE BUNCH of Cosplayers. People dressed up as their favorite Anime character or in fact any character at all, be it from a movie, a comic, a tv show, a game, the list just goes on.
My first time would be last year where we actually entered and checked the whole place out. We purchased tickets to walk about and it was a ball watching all the cosplayers. My fav from last year would be the 2 girls dressed as White Chicks. This year however, things got pretty interesting.
The guys and I went on the 10th, but not for entering the convention with tickets purchased but instead for filming reasons.
Fariz and I brought our onesies and well, he's the funny breakdown of our roles.
Fariz - Swagachu
Me- Voidacorn
Sara & Aideel - The Camera Crew
Ari - The Cargo Boy who also became part of the camera crew eventually
The convention was held in Marina Bay: The Sands Expo & Convention Centre in The Shoppes.
The annual Singapore Toy Game and Comic Convention, otherwise more commonly known as STGCC took place this year on the 10th and 11th of September. It is really a fascinating sight as you'll be seeing a WHOLE BUNCH of Cosplayers. People dressed up as their favorite Anime character or in fact any character at all, be it from a movie, a comic, a tv show, a game, the list just goes on.
My first time would be last year where we actually entered and checked the whole place out. We purchased tickets to walk about and it was a ball watching all the cosplayers. My fav from last year would be the 2 girls dressed as White Chicks. This year however, things got pretty interesting.
The guys and I went on the 10th, but not for entering the convention with tickets purchased but instead for filming reasons.
Fariz and I brought our onesies and well, he's the funny breakdown of our roles.
Fariz - Swagachu
Me- Voidacorn
Sara & Aideel - The Camera Crew
Ari - The Cargo Boy who also became part of the camera crew eventually
The convention was held in Marina Bay: The Sands Expo & Convention Centre in The Shoppes.
Booty had him like...
All dem group shots!
I promise you the arms of this guy was 100% authentic. He had the biceps of a Greek God. I didn't wanted to look like a creep when touching his arms, so I settled for touching his forearms and my oh my were they just really large and hard! Mmmmmm hehehehe
Fariz lived his dreams by meeting Zootopia cosplayers and even getting arrested by them.
He lived his nightmare by being a kids magnet too!
Who would have guess that Deadpool & Spiderman as schoolgirls would have a huge thing for unicorns?!
Attempting to do a baby freeze but just looking like a bunch of big babies!
You put Da Lime In Da Coconut.
'Twas a really great day! You guys were amazing and it was major fun!
P.S: Watch this video made my Fariz HERE
And there is another video on his channel which is honestly just really cool with all the edits that he did with THIS
Enjoy!!!
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Hari Raya Haji
This year it was pretty sad but the Mazlans somehow made it happy. It was sad as it was the first time, Papa wasn't with us to celebrate this occasion. In fact, my family paid a visit to his grave on the morning of Hari Raya Haji. It was also the first time that instead of being so hot, humid, stuffy and uncomfortable, it was actually windy, breezy, shady and cool.
We did not get our usual Pratas but instead had Pizza Hut. We left the house pretty late at about 6pm only but I wanted to do something.
I wanted to try something different and be spontaneous. I was trying to do a lip syncing and dancing video. I am really touched that my family was on board with the whole video idea. We were taking turns lip-syncing and dancing to the classic Let Me Love You by Mario. My Momma...well she was adorable and I HAD to put her at the end of the video as it was just too cute. My mum knows how to WERK IT!
Check out the video:
I was also using my new lipstick shade Brown Sugar from the Kylie Jenner lipkit line.
My baby!!!! Princess Zara!
We went to Zara's house and also had a lot of bonding games especially with Donkey and a new game called Contact! Cousins UNITE!
It was a really heartwarming feeling. We definitely must play this game with family, friends and our loved ones.
Came back home and they wanted to take more pictures!
At least they still had their make-up on. Pfft, always wanting to camwhore once I remove my make up!
Salam Aidiladha to all the Muslim peeps out there!
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Chalet
This year chalet was done in September as people were gonna enlist in October. Everyone in the group managed to turn up except for Dalan & Fariz. I promise that you guys were really missed dearly.
The 4 of us met first.
Alone in our crib for the night when the guys went to collect the food!
Vinod, our Botak guy. Next, it'll be Sara!!! Huehuehue
Ari setting the whole place on fire. Now that is how you start a BBQ.
Vishnu has to look DA BOMB with all 'em muscles!
Wearing one cap is too mainstream
I had to giggle at the caption! I sure as hell will be missing that amazing mustache of yours Vish. When you're enlisting, I sure as hell will miss all that facial hair and the hair on your head. I mean DAYUM! They look good. So enjoy while you still have them.
The chalet beside us had people and it was funny as it was taken over by my primary school friend Nisha, and her friend Seraphina and all their friends. It was kinda nice reminiscing but hey, no one can come above the guys! :')
When the alcohol kicked in...Aideel and I became the counselors of the night.
The highlight for me was to have climbed over a fence / gate for the first time in my life and that was BADASS as hell!
Vinod should be given an award as he had obtained manhood and now earned the respect to really be The DON! Why? Nah... it shall not be shared here but the ones who were there will forever know that one simply does not mess with The Don!
The Popo was involved but hey there was nothing do with us. So, this is by far the MOST DRAMA filled chalet but it was fun no doubt!
In the morning we enjoyed various levels of sweets and chocolates in a jar that I prepared at home. I am sorry to one guy especially as this was meant to have been for you. I did not attend your birthday party and did not wanted the gift to go to waste so I am sorry that the guys and I ate it.
We were like hungry animals after booking out. We went to this place and ate all them Gorengs with Fish Curry. Like for example, I ordered spicy Nasi Goreng, and I poured fish curry over it and it is oddly delicious!
It's time for a group shot to show all of our tired faces!
Anush adores my face in this that he made it into a meme!
Post Chalet
I reached home and told myself that I'll take a quick nap. I slept at 5:30pm. The next thing I am awake and it was 11am on Sunday. I had a solid 17.5 hours of sleep which is a new record breaking time for me!
Woke up & I started with snapchat. I was making quite a few lip syncing videos with the filters. My Sunday involved, sleeping, eating, snapchatting, whatsapping and cycling. It went by well.
Closer - The Chainsmokers ft Halsey
Usher's Hey Daddy - my take on it hehehe, he knows how to make me all horny and kinky.
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Boho Photoshoot
Recently I did a photoshoot with Sri. It was fun, and one of my favorite themes, BOHEMIAN! I had to bring my own clothes and use my accessories and props though. We shot at Labrador park. Long story short. A lotta mosquitos bites. A rather long uphill walk. Scorching sun but it was a really fun shoot!
I ain't gonna share all the pictures, but here's a few.
Looking forward to working with you again in the future. :)
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Bounce
Let's just say that this was a one hell of a night. Sara, Vishnu & Anush are enlisting in NS - Tekong in the first week of October. Vishnu & Anush were not able to turn out for the outing so it was just a few of us and my dear Fami!
Excited at work itself!!!
Had to have our usual TGIF Roof session before the night carried on and the partying started.
It was really impromptu but we decided to give a ROCKIN farewell party for Sara. We'll leave at the point where Vinod had more of a bangin time than Sara! hehehehe
We went to Bounce (previously known as Rumours). We went in only at like 1am so that would mean Fami & I couldn't enter in for free and also we had to enter by the drinks. Lemme just let you know that Bounce is really WAAAAYYYY more happening that Rumours and it was just fantastic!
The music was great, it was hype and my favorite thing about clubs is the whole vibe on the dancefloor! When the dancefloor started to get packed, it was a hardcore rave session and it was just too amazing!!!
Went in by Chivas. Fami recommended Gin & Ginger Ale and the combo was just really smooth & lovely!
I have to give huge shoutout to the guys especially Sara. You really are an awesome friend. I love how my relationships with the guys are platonic, When guys in the club try to be funny and do inappropriate things, Sara steps in ever so casually and handles the situation with such ease.
I come to the club to have a great night with my friends and my dancing involves and surrounds them. I am more than happy if the guys dance with the girls, but for me, I am not looking for a relationship or even a hook-up in a club. I want to dance and go sexual with my girls in this sense, Fami hahaha!
I am not here to start a fight or create problems, so what I did was when a guy tried to dance with me, I politely danced with him, but when I moved away, he grabbed me by my waist and pulled me closer. That is when I sashayed out and signaled the guys and God bless them!
Other than that, dancing was FUCKIN EPIC!
The horrible thing would be that... we left the club at 6am. I had to work at 8.30am. Yup, it was a Saturday I had to work. I went to the office again with the exact same clothes I wore on Friday. Thank heavens it was a half day. I was practically sleeping throughout. I barely had 6 hours of sleep the night before.
After work, I knocked out in the train, went home just to bathe and prep myself before I cycled over to Dalan's house! Yeap, still no sleep! I was surprised I didn't die.
Thank you Aunty for all the tasty food and the sarees. I now have 4 new sarees to work with to sew something other than my very own black & gold one for this Deepavali. My mum and sisters are loving all the new clothes. <3 <3 <3
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Zizi Turns 24
After returning from Dalan's house, I spoke to Raihan and only got on bed ar 10.30pm. The next thing, I was being woken up by my mum at 12.30pm the next day!
Why? This special day, this Sunday, my beautiful older sister turns 24.
I got her 3 things this year. Firstly, the iconic oval make-up brushes, which I gave her in advance so that she could look SLAMMIN for this year's Raya. My sister is really a make up guru mastering the art of using these brushes. Then, there's people like me! Hahaha
The last is a notebook. That is just the wrapping paper below. I had to post it as Momma did the wrapping for it and it was adorable as she did a huge "F" to represent Fazilah. The notebook is practically a whol planner book where it helps her sort out her expenses, goals, future interior house decor plans, her late night thoughts and so much more.
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Fami's House
Fami, Sangary & I decided to meet up for the fun of it. The initial reason would be that since I had 3 Naked palettes, I would be giving 1 to Fami and in exchange, she'll cook her specialty dish which would be Carbonara Pasta.
But hey, it's more fun with 3 people so the 3 of us decided to hang out at Fami's place.
I reached before Sangary only to have been locked out. Well, we met a lil late as I had work and could only come after.
It was honestly really nice to just hang out, chill and talk. The only downside would be that it felt so short! It lasted for only 3 hours as we all had to get back. Well,
it's fine, we are so gonna have a sleepover or at least a staycation soon. It'll be amazing I'm sure of it and genuinely just can't wait for it to take place! Love you both my lil stars!
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Alcohol Month
This month by far is probably my record breaking number of times where I had consumed alcohol and no people, I'm not talking about something as simple as ciders or breezers...
Lemme break it down.
The first would be for Fariz's birthday where we had vodka. The second would be chalet, where I had more vodka. The third would be clubbing and I had Chivas and even Gin. The last would be the most recent which is on the eve of my dad's birthday.
The last one is honestly my bad. I was overwhelmed with problems and wanted to just have fun and chill with the guys. They all came with beers like what I would've got. Somehow it ended up with me purchasing a whole bottle of Absolut Vodka and although I was supposed to drink it then, and finish the rest of it on Friday, it completed that night itself and might I add, that night was MAGICAL & MESSED UP!!!
This would be the first time I got... WASTED! I ain't even kidding. This is the first time I blacked out or basically what happened would be that I blanked out that a huge chunk of what took place was complete blackness that I don't remember anything.
Thank heavens I had the lads to look after me. One thing is for sure, lesson learnt! I know I do naturally have a low tolerance and for that, I really need to make sure I watch how much I drink. I can be high and in fact I love that feeling and it's amazing. But being drunk, well completely, it might me fun for people but you gotta think about the people around you having to look after you.
I most definitely thank god for the guys and am grateful for their patience and endearance.
To the 5 lads, y'all are freaking precious and why am I blogging this segment is because years down the road when I am looking back at this and reading all of it, at least I'll look back and think of this night. The night where I really let loose, went all out and drank till I can finally at the word "WASTED" in my dictionary!
Cheers to September! This has been a really good month in especially making myself happy by distracting myself with doing fun things with the most lovely people. I just had to take my mind of things for this month and September, you sure as hell delivered!
PEACE & LOVE!!!
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Papa's Birthday
I lost my dad this year on 22nd May to Cancer. I never did talk so much about this in detail here but I feel that I am ready to pen it down in this spot. I moved out of my parents home in January 2015. The one reason why I came back was the moment I knew my dad was diagnosed with Stage 4 Liver Cancer.
My Dad, Papa, the feistiest man you would ever chance upon in your life, he whom never backs down and doesn't like asking help for anything felt like he was being a burden for the first time in his life. He is a complete workaholic and he was forced to spend his remaining days in the hospital and at home.
A tumor which was the size of 2 $1 coins was found in his liver during an x-ray. When further tests were done, over 3,000 cancer cells had spread throughout his body. They were spread so vastly and were eating up on his bones and tissues, they were multiplying really quickly. The doctors predicted that he would have about 4 months to live when he was diagnosed with this but he only made it to 2 and a half months.
We told the doctors not to tell him as the last thing anyone would need to know would be exactly how long they had left to live. Life should not be lived like a ticking time bomb. It was just heartbreaking to see him make plans for late September, October and all just so that he can take up more security courses. He was still thinking of work and getting back to it even with such a condition.
I immediately got the guys' help and moved back into my house and was there for him. During that period which was March, I had already completed my internship but was struggling to find a job. I was jobless for a long period of time and doing random jobs like waitressing as I did not wanted to rely on my mum for money.
He had so many incidents, he was weak, had mild fainting spells and he was physically in a lot of pain because the amount a pain a cancer cell does to your body is tremendous, let only over 3,000 cells. He also had incidents where he threw up a lotta blood, I am talking about the amount equivalent to buckets. It was painful to watch him be like that.
It's honestly watching a flower wither right in front of your eyes. You're giving it all the sunlight, all the water and all the flower food but it's still withering. What sucked the most was that the sooner he left us the better. Every single day that he was still alive meant that we still had our dad with us but that would mean that it's just another of pure suffering for him. The sooner he went, meant that I no longer have a dad, my mum no longer has a husband but it meant that his suffering would have ended.
How can I explain to anybody how it must have felt to pray and hope that your dad passes away in his sleep peacefully. Every prayer was done in thought of him and his well being. It was just a very rough period of time especially for my family.
Papa, we miss you every single day and wish that you were still around. There never had been a day that went pass that I felt complete. With your absence, there's a whole in my heart that can never be filled but that doesn't mean I'll just dwell and remain on the ground. If there's anything you taught me, it would have been to stay strong and be able to pick myself up, dust myself off, stand on my own two feet and be independent.
My sisters and even Momma says that I'm lucky. Because in the entire family, the last birthday you celebrated was mine. The last big family event we had and the last family meal we had would be on my graduation.
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Torturous month
September. I thought it would be an okay month. It was not. My best friend, the one person I go to for anything and everything was taken away from me in an instant. It happened way too fast without any warning. One whole month I had to go through without seeing, hearing or even contacting him. There was no way around it and I just had to go through the whole of September without having my best friend by my side.
I was okay at first, trying to deal with it, convincing myself it was okay. I was smiling and laughing and telling myself that 1 month would pass. I went for outings and plastered a smile on my face. I told myself that if I convinced myself that things were okay, it'll be okay.
I used to love entering my house when there was no one, I took solace to the silence. But ever since you were gone for a while, I constantly needed to be surrounded with people and do things lively, happy and upbeat to just distract myself.
I had people to talk to and I couldn't be more appreciative. However, I felt so empty and hurt. You are my best friend, and when you were gone, you took a humongous chunk of my heart with you and just left me there. At first I was so angry at you that if I were to see you, I would bash your face up against the wall. Eventually, you just made me sad as I know what you're going through and it hurts so much that I can't be with you or do anything to make things okay.
All I wanna do is to give you a really big hug, then bash your face and make sure that you're alright. I know I am an independent person but you leaving really tested my strength. There's a saying "You'll never know how strong you really are until being strong is the only choice you are left with."
I guess you did that to me. I am here for you, please never ever forget that nor doubt that. I do not address you as my best friend for the fun of it I actually mean it with every ounce of truth in me. You are such a big and important part of my world that I was struggling to piece my shattered world when you were gone.
I cannot wait to see you and just make sure things are okay again. I am here every step with you and will be supporting you. C'mon! You got yourself a #1 Fan here, although if you're gonna make it huge, you agreed to work on that signature of yours because one day that signature will become your autograph.
Come back safe and sound and I hope at the very least you have been looking after yourself.
The guys and I are waiting to beat the crap outta you if you ever do something like that ever again. You think it's fine to leave me alone, Nigga! I'll kill you! Come back Asswipe, we are waiting for you and really do miss you.
This past one month has been completely torturous in your absence, especially for me. October will be better when you're back! :')
Take care till then Asswipe. We really love you & miss you to bits.
xoxo
Farhana Mazlan
Recently I did a photoshoot with Sri. It was fun, and one of my favorite themes, BOHEMIAN! I had to bring my own clothes and use my accessories and props though. We shot at Labrador park. Long story short. A lotta mosquitos bites. A rather long uphill walk. Scorching sun but it was a really fun shoot!
I ain't gonna share all the pictures, but here's a few.
Looking forward to working with you again in the future. :)
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Bounce
Let's just say that this was a one hell of a night. Sara, Vishnu & Anush are enlisting in NS - Tekong in the first week of October. Vishnu & Anush were not able to turn out for the outing so it was just a few of us and my dear Fami!
Excited at work itself!!!
Had to have our usual TGIF Roof session before the night carried on and the partying started.
It was really impromptu but we decided to give a ROCKIN farewell party for Sara. We'll leave at the point where Vinod had more of a bangin time than Sara! hehehehe
We went to Bounce (previously known as Rumours). We went in only at like 1am so that would mean Fami & I couldn't enter in for free and also we had to enter by the drinks. Lemme just let you know that Bounce is really WAAAAYYYY more happening that Rumours and it was just fantastic!
The music was great, it was hype and my favorite thing about clubs is the whole vibe on the dancefloor! When the dancefloor started to get packed, it was a hardcore rave session and it was just too amazing!!!
Went in by Chivas. Fami recommended Gin & Ginger Ale and the combo was just really smooth & lovely!
I have to give huge shoutout to the guys especially Sara. You really are an awesome friend. I love how my relationships with the guys are platonic, When guys in the club try to be funny and do inappropriate things, Sara steps in ever so casually and handles the situation with such ease.
I come to the club to have a great night with my friends and my dancing involves and surrounds them. I am more than happy if the guys dance with the girls, but for me, I am not looking for a relationship or even a hook-up in a club. I want to dance and go sexual with my girls in this sense, Fami hahaha!
I am not here to start a fight or create problems, so what I did was when a guy tried to dance with me, I politely danced with him, but when I moved away, he grabbed me by my waist and pulled me closer. That is when I sashayed out and signaled the guys and God bless them!
Other than that, dancing was FUCKIN EPIC!
The horrible thing would be that... we left the club at 6am. I had to work at 8.30am. Yup, it was a Saturday I had to work. I went to the office again with the exact same clothes I wore on Friday. Thank heavens it was a half day. I was practically sleeping throughout. I barely had 6 hours of sleep the night before.
After work, I knocked out in the train, went home just to bathe and prep myself before I cycled over to Dalan's house! Yeap, still no sleep! I was surprised I didn't die.
Thank you Aunty for all the tasty food and the sarees. I now have 4 new sarees to work with to sew something other than my very own black & gold one for this Deepavali. My mum and sisters are loving all the new clothes. <3 <3 <3
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Zizi Turns 24
After returning from Dalan's house, I spoke to Raihan and only got on bed ar 10.30pm. The next thing, I was being woken up by my mum at 12.30pm the next day!
Why? This special day, this Sunday, my beautiful older sister turns 24.
I got her 3 things this year. Firstly, the iconic oval make-up brushes, which I gave her in advance so that she could look SLAMMIN for this year's Raya. My sister is really a make up guru mastering the art of using these brushes. Then, there's people like me! Hahaha
The second gift is a little customized car plate where it has her name, birthdate and all.
The last is a notebook. That is just the wrapping paper below. I had to post it as Momma did the wrapping for it and it was adorable as she did a huge "F" to represent Fazilah. The notebook is practically a whol planner book where it helps her sort out her expenses, goals, future interior house decor plans, her late night thoughts and so much more.
Time to drive off to Chinatown Point to a shop called Segar where we were all having seafood! I was only a tad bit down that there wasn't any crab. Well, it's fine, Momma agreed to whip up some this Saturday. What a great way it would be to start October!
Trying to be kinky hehehe
It was my family, maami and Zara's family who turned out for this celebration.
May the feeding session commence!
Major group shots & selfies!
The Princess for the day! Birthday gurl Zizi!!!
We went to this shop that sold so many old school items like bomb bags, breath spray, card games, eraser games. Momma bought food and I got some games and my favorite colored plastic ball. That little ball brought so much of joy as we were playing it in the mall, on the streets and I mean every one of us even Maami, Momma & Annie!
Sometimes that is why I treasure old school items.
I CANNOT EMPHASIZE ENOUGH ON HOW CUTE MY MUM IS!
My lovelies
After this, Zizi wanted some desserts and we drove to Antoinette.
I promise y'all that I was camwhoring and this particular shot was a candid one as I was blinking and the camera actually caught it. I kinda like it. It's like sassy sleeping! Hahaha
Zizi & Raihan ordered Nougatine while I opted for Tahiti! Vanilla Bean!
Nougatine
Tahiti
Cutie Patooties!!!!!
I don't know what I would do without the 2 of you. My first friends. My sisters. And forever go by it,
Sisters before Misters. But we are "bros"! HAHAHA so, Bros before Hoes.
Putri - Princess in Malay
Why yes you are!
Once again, Happy Birthday! Thank you for always being a great sister and giving me your guidance, sharing tips, advise and bestowing me with your wisdom. Thank you for being a big reason why I smile everyday. God! I hate that you're so physically clingy just like Raihan but hey, I wouldn't want to have it any other way! I love you so much and am excited for upcoming wedding plans (hopefully we'll get good news soon).
Pamper yourself my princess, because you are amazing just how you are and you deserve nothing but the very best!
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Fami's House
Fami, Sangary & I decided to meet up for the fun of it. The initial reason would be that since I had 3 Naked palettes, I would be giving 1 to Fami and in exchange, she'll cook her specialty dish which would be Carbonara Pasta.
But hey, it's more fun with 3 people so the 3 of us decided to hang out at Fami's place.
I reached before Sangary only to have been locked out. Well, we met a lil late as I had work and could only come after.
While the chef works wonders...
Fami's very own Naked Palette!!!
Sangary is super sweet! She got us watches! Awwww, thanks hun! My watch had a sparkly pink strap and the inside was an owl. It was really pretty. Once again THANK YOU!!!
Boomerang Time!
It was honestly really nice to just hang out, chill and talk. The only downside would be that it felt so short! It lasted for only 3 hours as we all had to get back. Well,
it's fine, we are so gonna have a sleepover or at least a staycation soon. It'll be amazing I'm sure of it and genuinely just can't wait for it to take place! Love you both my lil stars!
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Alcohol Month
This month by far is probably my record breaking number of times where I had consumed alcohol and no people, I'm not talking about something as simple as ciders or breezers...
Lemme break it down.
The first would be for Fariz's birthday where we had vodka. The second would be chalet, where I had more vodka. The third would be clubbing and I had Chivas and even Gin. The last would be the most recent which is on the eve of my dad's birthday.
The last one is honestly my bad. I was overwhelmed with problems and wanted to just have fun and chill with the guys. They all came with beers like what I would've got. Somehow it ended up with me purchasing a whole bottle of Absolut Vodka and although I was supposed to drink it then, and finish the rest of it on Friday, it completed that night itself and might I add, that night was MAGICAL & MESSED UP!!!
This would be the first time I got... WASTED! I ain't even kidding. This is the first time I blacked out or basically what happened would be that I blanked out that a huge chunk of what took place was complete blackness that I don't remember anything.
Thank heavens I had the lads to look after me. One thing is for sure, lesson learnt! I know I do naturally have a low tolerance and for that, I really need to make sure I watch how much I drink. I can be high and in fact I love that feeling and it's amazing. But being drunk, well completely, it might me fun for people but you gotta think about the people around you having to look after you.
I most definitely thank god for the guys and am grateful for their patience and endearance.
To the 5 lads, y'all are freaking precious and why am I blogging this segment is because years down the road when I am looking back at this and reading all of it, at least I'll look back and think of this night. The night where I really let loose, went all out and drank till I can finally at the word "WASTED" in my dictionary!
Cheers to September! This has been a really good month in especially making myself happy by distracting myself with doing fun things with the most lovely people. I just had to take my mind of things for this month and September, you sure as hell delivered!
PEACE & LOVE!!!
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Papa's Birthday
I lost my dad this year on 22nd May to Cancer. I never did talk so much about this in detail here but I feel that I am ready to pen it down in this spot. I moved out of my parents home in January 2015. The one reason why I came back was the moment I knew my dad was diagnosed with Stage 4 Liver Cancer.
My Dad, Papa, the feistiest man you would ever chance upon in your life, he whom never backs down and doesn't like asking help for anything felt like he was being a burden for the first time in his life. He is a complete workaholic and he was forced to spend his remaining days in the hospital and at home.
A tumor which was the size of 2 $1 coins was found in his liver during an x-ray. When further tests were done, over 3,000 cancer cells had spread throughout his body. They were spread so vastly and were eating up on his bones and tissues, they were multiplying really quickly. The doctors predicted that he would have about 4 months to live when he was diagnosed with this but he only made it to 2 and a half months.
We told the doctors not to tell him as the last thing anyone would need to know would be exactly how long they had left to live. Life should not be lived like a ticking time bomb. It was just heartbreaking to see him make plans for late September, October and all just so that he can take up more security courses. He was still thinking of work and getting back to it even with such a condition.
I immediately got the guys' help and moved back into my house and was there for him. During that period which was March, I had already completed my internship but was struggling to find a job. I was jobless for a long period of time and doing random jobs like waitressing as I did not wanted to rely on my mum for money.
He had so many incidents, he was weak, had mild fainting spells and he was physically in a lot of pain because the amount a pain a cancer cell does to your body is tremendous, let only over 3,000 cells. He also had incidents where he threw up a lotta blood, I am talking about the amount equivalent to buckets. It was painful to watch him be like that.
It's honestly watching a flower wither right in front of your eyes. You're giving it all the sunlight, all the water and all the flower food but it's still withering. What sucked the most was that the sooner he left us the better. Every single day that he was still alive meant that we still had our dad with us but that would mean that it's just another of pure suffering for him. The sooner he went, meant that I no longer have a dad, my mum no longer has a husband but it meant that his suffering would have ended.
How can I explain to anybody how it must have felt to pray and hope that your dad passes away in his sleep peacefully. Every prayer was done in thought of him and his well being. It was just a very rough period of time especially for my family.
Papa, we miss you every single day and wish that you were still around. There never had been a day that went pass that I felt complete. With your absence, there's a whole in my heart that can never be filled but that doesn't mean I'll just dwell and remain on the ground. If there's anything you taught me, it would have been to stay strong and be able to pick myself up, dust myself off, stand on my own two feet and be independent.
My sisters and even Momma says that I'm lucky. Because in the entire family, the last birthday you celebrated was mine. The last big family event we had and the last family meal we had would be on my graduation.
Zizi, Rai and I all dressed up as after visiting you, we were supposed to go for a function. How were we to know that would have been the last you saw us dress up? I had this weird feeling in the evening that you were going to leave us that night. Although I was tired, I just knew that I had to stay back in the hospital. I was with Momma and Zizi & Rai were at Zara's house. I was with him when he took his final breath and his heart rate started plummeting.
All my relatives especially those aunts who usually have something to say about everything said I should consider myself lucky. Am I though? Just because I was there witnessing the whole thing, which honestly who would want to see their oen father dying right in front of their very own eyes, and that somehow makes me lucky? I don't know what to feel about it.
It just hurts still thinking about it. But, I've learnt to accept it. Sure, there are nights where I am alone and just end up breaking down thinking about this. But that doesn't mean life is over. I still have my mum and more than anything,she needs me the most now.
This was Papa in the hospital and Raihan took videos of him asking him questions.
This was the last roof session with the guys before I lost my dad the very next day...
My dad, from a physical being standing in front of me to now, buried... 6 foot underground.
RIP Papa. You would forever be in our prayers and memories.
The best Dad a girl can ask for. We may have had ups and downs but there was never once where I wished something bad befalls upon you.
I love you with all my heart. I would have never wanted or traded for another dad.
This year, Father's Day was the first one without a dad. For Hari Raya, I convinced our family to go white this year so that you can match with us since you're always in white almost every single year. I am sorry you are unable to see us Papa. It would have been yours and Momma's 25th Wedding Anniversary. A quarter of a century y'all would have lived together but you were gone before that. Don't worry Pa, we will make sure Momma is happy and at peace and relaxed. We will look after her really well. This year for the rest of our family's birthday would be the first one without you. In fact, birthdays in general now would feel a tad empty.
Our family tends to feel a bit lost, a lil broken and a big empty heaviness just lingering. But, I promise you that we'll patch it up and make it as strong and as united as it should be. If you were around, there would have been so many dirty jokes made as you were turning 69 this year.
Papa, I already gotten you your birthdays gifts for this year, last year and decided to go ahead and complete them this year. I know youwon't be around to take them. I ended up giving them to coincidentally 8 guys. Who are they you ask? The NiggAPACHE of course. Other than you Pa, these guys... they my closest friends, they are my very own angels, they are my lil lovelies, they are practically my family, and to me, they are my heroes.
I did not want the gifts that I got you to go to waste, so I gave them each a gift.
These were the 8 things I prepared.
1. World Map with flags: My dad used to be a sailor and this is for him to learn more about all the different countries. He has been all around the world but this was for him to build up on his general knowledge by identifying based on the flags.
2. Boat: To symbolize his goold old sailing days.
3. Anchor and Steering Wheel Badges: An achor to represent his strong foundation he has in this family and steering wheel as he steers us to the right pathway (plus it also has to do with his sailor-times hehe)
4. Family Game pack cards (Old Maid, Snap, Donkey, Happy Family): We used to play these card games as a family and bonded over this a lot during childhood that I wanted all of us to re-live that.
5. A painting of a sunset: It is one of the most beautiful things on earth and I am not an artiste nor a painter but I wanted to do something truly handmade for my dad.
6. A lil towel and a soccer stand with a quote: My dad is a HUGE Man-U fan and hence this little soccer set.
7. A photoframe with a saying: On one side there is a nice Arizona can cutting and on the other a little joke that messes with his age.
8. Tha Jar of Nothing: For so many events especially his birthdays when we ask what he wanted, he'll say nothing, so I finally gave him what he always asked for and that is a jar of nothing.
A number of them were jokes and I wanted to take it simple and do something soectacular for his 70th birthday next year. Little did we know that he would not even make it to celebrate his 69th. We may have all sorts of plan but life, is completely unexpected. It can be magical and also take us on a roller coaster ride of turmoil and emotions. We just have to learn to brave the waves and take it one step at a time.
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Torturous month
September. I thought it would be an okay month. It was not. My best friend, the one person I go to for anything and everything was taken away from me in an instant. It happened way too fast without any warning. One whole month I had to go through without seeing, hearing or even contacting him. There was no way around it and I just had to go through the whole of September without having my best friend by my side.
I was okay at first, trying to deal with it, convincing myself it was okay. I was smiling and laughing and telling myself that 1 month would pass. I went for outings and plastered a smile on my face. I told myself that if I convinced myself that things were okay, it'll be okay.
I used to love entering my house when there was no one, I took solace to the silence. But ever since you were gone for a while, I constantly needed to be surrounded with people and do things lively, happy and upbeat to just distract myself.
I had people to talk to and I couldn't be more appreciative. However, I felt so empty and hurt. You are my best friend, and when you were gone, you took a humongous chunk of my heart with you and just left me there. At first I was so angry at you that if I were to see you, I would bash your face up against the wall. Eventually, you just made me sad as I know what you're going through and it hurts so much that I can't be with you or do anything to make things okay.
All I wanna do is to give you a really big hug, then bash your face and make sure that you're alright. I know I am an independent person but you leaving really tested my strength. There's a saying "You'll never know how strong you really are until being strong is the only choice you are left with."
I guess you did that to me. I am here for you, please never ever forget that nor doubt that. I do not address you as my best friend for the fun of it I actually mean it with every ounce of truth in me. You are such a big and important part of my world that I was struggling to piece my shattered world when you were gone.
I cannot wait to see you and just make sure things are okay again. I am here every step with you and will be supporting you. C'mon! You got yourself a #1 Fan here, although if you're gonna make it huge, you agreed to work on that signature of yours because one day that signature will become your autograph.
Come back safe and sound and I hope at the very least you have been looking after yourself.
The guys and I are waiting to beat the crap outta you if you ever do something like that ever again. You think it's fine to leave me alone, Nigga! I'll kill you! Come back Asswipe, we are waiting for you and really do miss you.
This past one month has been completely torturous in your absence, especially for me. October will be better when you're back! :')
Take care till then Asswipe. We really love you & miss you to bits.
xoxo
Farhana Mazlan
