Marriages vs Weddings

I shall start with my view on marriages and weddings. These 2 are two different things.

A marriage is a long term relationship between two individuals. A wedding, on the other hand, is the ceremony of getting married.

There is nothing more bubbly, positive and brimming with possibility than a bride. There is something so exciting about being engaged to married--something surreal. During an engagement there is this alternate universe that seems to exist, uprooting the realities of marriage that lay ahead for the couple.

But let’s be plain: there is a huge difference between a wedding and a marriage.

Weddings are fun and full of celebration; indeed there is much to celebrate when two people are joining their lives together. But in the planning, and all that goes into the wedding’s festivities, there is a measure of realism that is lost. So many couples-and women especially, I believe are guilty of this--go into the whole thinking that they want to be “married” but they don’t think beyond the altar.

Thinking beyond the altar can become very overwhelming... which may account for some of this phenomenon. Of course we would rather think about where we are taking our honeymoon than the demands that might be made of us once we are legally and emotionally bound to someone through the institution of marriage. But to put it bluntly, that is just not good enough.

It’s not good enough to leave it to chance and plan a wedding without thinking about what lies ahead. What will you do the day your husband or wife shocks the hell out of you with a behavior you never saw coming? What will happen when you find yourself in uncharted territory.... how will you settle differences that are huge, glaring and unexpected? Make no mistake about it: people change over time, be it for better or worse.

The biggest thing and the most trying obstacle in my estimation is the national obsession over weddings. Some people want desperately, for many years, to be a bride. They would want the PERFECT cake, the flowers, the dress--the music. They would want the experience of saying I got married, and I wanted to call my boyfriend “husband.” They would say "I knew I was in love, and so I thought to myself that I must want marriage, too." And it becomes harder and harder as you watch others marry.

Marriages, though, are not about flowers and expensive entrees; they aren’t about matching dresses, large cakes, and guest lists. A marriage is about hard work and compromise... I know, it sounds so very cliche. It’s what you hear about from countless couples, this compromise and hard work. And it sort of makes it sound  a little unpleasant, doesn’t it?

Indeed, marriage can sometimes be quite unpleasant. There are trying times in any relationship, and relationships, too, have a way of taking on a life of their own. But on the flip side of that, it can also be the most fulfilling and beautiful thing ever. Nothing in a marriage, as those married can attest to, is quite black or white; it’s all in shades of grey.

I’m not going to lie, it’s hard to go into a marriage with eyes wide open...especially when you’ve got diamonds shining so brightly, blocking the great vision you normally have. When you decided to get married, you better know what you're in for. You should know who your fiancee and soon to be husband is and is not--you should wait even of it takes years before we decided to commit for life. Time may truly be the best and most steadfast determination of your ability to make it in a marriage.

If you can stand the test of time, then you may be ready for marriage. Even after being together for years, some couples will get a shocking revelation that they weren't prepared for after they say "I do" to each other. You should be armed with convictions and knowledge of who you married, and that would allowed the both of you to roll with the punches and weather storms together. You'll be able to grow stronger in your marriage with each bump in the road you encounter, but as you age, you may even see that other couples haven’t fared as well as you have.

There is a reason why they always say "Marry your best friend". You know them inside out and you love them unconditionally and best friends won't just leave one another after a fight. They patch things up and their relationship only gets more stronger.

Haha go find your best friend out there. If you have one, go marry him / her.

Hehehe kidding. 

I know that I am 19. I want to live my life to the fullest and be all #YOLO. At the same time, I can't help but plan for my future and anticipate and really look forward to it. 

I got my spark back. Nono not romance spark but motivation spark. I had my random convos with Asswipe and I went on for like a full hour about life, my future, what I wanted to do, ambitions, passions, career and so on. 

I decided I was finally going to start on it. My wedding planning. Not exactly my wedding but my ideas for weddings. The scrapbook I bought last year that has been waiting to be filled with pictures, words, ideas, clipping can finally be done.

I have yet to put anything in like drawings or even pictures but I spent an entire day just writing and listing ideas for weddings. I actually finally did it. Used Google, certain magazines, wedding story books and I wrote down what will be required during a wedding and trust me you'll be surprised by how many things will have to be taken into consideration.

Although mine is more targeted for a Christian wedding, weddings still need similar items such as a wedding dress, the flower / bouquet, the theme, table runners, door gifts and so on.

I will find time one of these days and collate and compile my notes and hopefully start on my scrapbook. Dresses can be inspiration from so many people like Elie Saab (I STILL WANNA OWN ONE OF HIS DRESSES ONE DAY!), Vera Wang, Hayden Williams illustrations and so on.

Along the way, I was doing some thought for my own wedding. hehe what can I do? I am so in love with weddings and the whole concept and creativity of it. I am definitely going to invest time in planning my own wedding as I write many wedding ideas for my future wedding company (fingers kept crossed). 

Preparations can wait because I am still 19 after all!

I do have a whole lotta plans for the future but I am going to take it one step at a time. 

I still want to get married on a beach. Starting to consider places but of course my dear future husband will have a say in it. After reading The Wedding Diaries, I realized that brides can turn into Godzilla while planning their wedding and things turn into "MY MY MY!!!" I wouldn't want for that.

I have yet to find the ideal venue as in which beach and also the price. This also needs to be done in time to come.



DO NOT JUDGE ME but I am planning to start saving up, like have a wedding funds box before I turn 21. To be putting in money monthly whether it is something as little as $10 or as much as $100. It honestly depends on my financial status for that month. I just do not want to burden my family too much for money for the wedding and rather have them there and helping out with little things and simply their presence themselves.

Yup, I should stop rambling about my wedding because that would be taking years for it to happen.
HAHA! See! This is what you get when you're so into weddings and want to build a future and career on it. You get so engrossed and passionate about it when planning and even think about it when it will happen in years to come!

I probably will be this kind of a weirdo wife who will do these mushy things. I find it really sweet and I think appreciating someone for their efforts, spoiling them from time to time is really important. Also, I am a HUGE FAN of doing DIY stuff. Not building things. I struggle with that.. but as in handmade items like cards.

Oh yea, super small details of weddings is crucial such as the type of nails you want to get done and even your preferred hairstyle.

I came across these 2 pictures below and I wanted to share it with y'all. Who knew nails would omit personality?! And the hairstyles are GORGEOUS! Especially for you ladies with long hair.

I have a month more of school. After which a week of exams. Following this I have another week of so called "holidays". Basically, it is for me to mentally, physically and emotionally prepare myself for internship. I still have yet to get my company.

God! I hope it is a good one with nice people and very well paying and hopefully in the wedding or at the very least, the events industry. If it is not, so be it. I'll give it my all during these 6 months and hopefully will find a job while I am interning so that after my internship, I'll have a company to work with straightaway.

I can't wait for my internship to be honest. But... I am still nervous. Suddenly it's no more student studying life, I'll be thrown into the adult world and working life and life goes on from there and there won't be turning back. I am nervous and excited at the same time. I am looking forward and will face it with a positve attitude, a big smile and welcome life's ups and downs, good and bad, blessings and lessons, rewards and challenges all with open arms for a warm embrace.

I am going to end this post with one of the cutest creatures on earth. Nope! Not puppies or kittens..BABIES!

Since I am talking about weddings and all, I just HAVE to post pictures of this cute babies.

One day, I want to have my own kids, my very own family that I'll cherish.

Be prepared for cuteness overload!

Well, that is all I have for now.

God bless RP for having the final exams in my favor! Yup! I just got my schedule and I couldn't be happier. Thank you for this final gift before I head for internship.

Till next time

xoxo

Farhana Mazlan